BlogWellbeingStress and Anxiety in High School: When Should You Seek Professional Help?

Stress and Anxiety in High School: When Should You Seek Professional Help?

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Do you feel like your stress and anxiety is getting the better of you? Perhaps you’re feeling too overwhelmed by schoolwork, or maybe you haven’t stopped thinking about that speech coming up — whatever it is, you might be unsure about whether to seek professional help.

Just know that these feelings are normal, valid and nothing to be ashamed of. If this stress and anxiety is hindering your daily life, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to talk to someone about how you’re doing.

We got to chat with Ellie, a youth and family counsellor at KYDS, who told us all about stress, anxiety and when professional help is the next best step. 

Let’s get started! 

Stress and Anxiety
Professional Help
When should you seek professional help?
What if you don’t think you’re quite in need of professional help?
How KYDS Works

Meet Ellie

Ellie is a counsellor at KYDS (Ku-ring-gai Youth Development Service). KYDS is a not-for-profit free mental health support service for young people and their families.

The organisation offers a range of resources from individual counselling to parenting support to family meetings. They’re all about removing the barrier that a lot of kids face when it comes to seeking mental health support. 

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Ellie is going to take us through everything there is to know about stress and anxiety, why it matters, what you can do about it and when’s the perfect time to seek professional help. 

What is stress and anxiety?

We put the question to Ellie, who told us, “I guess the main differentiating feature between stress and anxiety would be stress is a normal response to a threat for us. So that could be an assignment or public speaking — they’re pretty normal stresses. And anxiety is a normal feeling as well but it’s more so when it’s sustained.” 

So, while both stress and anxiety can be overwhelming and hard to deal, it’s good to be aware of the differences between the two. 

Ellie gave us the example of public speaking — those intimidating times throughout high school where you’re presenting a speech or presentation in front of the class and you’re graded on your performance, how often you make eye contact and whether you fidget or stand still.

It can be scary! Luckily, Ellie told us that feeling these kinds of nerves is a totally normal response, it’s just when these nerves get a bit unmanageable that anxiety may come in to play. Let’s break it down:

Stress

Feeling stressed or overwhelmed are completely normal responses to the prospect of standing up in front of your classmates and talking at them for 5 minutes. Ellie explained, “Public speaking always gives me a big rush but then once you’ve done it, it’s kind of over. You might think it wasn’t very great but you can move on.” 

Anxiety

Take that stressed feeling we mentioned above and times it by 5 and keep thinking about it forever, until it feels like you can’t think of anything else — that’s what we’d call anxiety. “Anxiety is more chronic and sustained. So, it’s the constant overthinking, never being present in the moment, and stopping you from engaging in life, whereas stress is more of a short term thing,” Ellie said. 

Whether you’d consider your thoughts as anxiety or stress comes down to their severity and length. Anxiety is considered a mental health issue whereas stress can be really hard to deal with but is usually manageable without too much harm.

Either way, both feelings are tough and valid! And if either start to feel too overwhelming or begin to impact your day to day life, it may be a good idea to seek professional help because no feeling should stop you from doing what you want to do. 

What is professional help?

To seek professional help for your stress, anxiety or any other mental health concern, is to speak to a qualified counsellor, psychologist or therapist about the thoughts and feelings that are hindering your daily life. It’s an amazing tool to have, and while the idea of seeking help is still shrouded in stigma, professional help should be encouraged as an option for everyone. 

Depending on the kind of professional you decide to find, it’ll generally look a little like this: you’ll be sitting in a safe, comforting room with a qualified counsellor who will gently ask about your feelings and how they’re affecting you, then you’ll both work through strategies to figure out these thoughts.

The Consultation Process

It sounds intimidating but often it’s exactly what we need. Ellie dissected this consultation process even further:

The initial session is really just to find out what they’re after which is something quite useful because a lot of young people aren’t quite sure which is fine too. If you’re just like, ‘I’m struggling, I have no idea why, but I don’t know what to do,’ then we can try and find that out.

“But it might be helpful to actually think, ‘Okay, do I need help with schoolwork, am I overthinking, am I having panic attacks or is it a relationship?’ just so you’re not walking out and feeling like you didn’t get what you wanted.” 

Ellie reiterated, “But as I said, if you don’t know, that’s fine too, because that’s our job to figure that out with you. Remind yourself that we’re here for you.

“So, if you’re really nervous, that’s okay. You do have to put effort in to change things for yourself but especially in the first few sessions, we’re going to be the ones working hard to figure out how to help you.” 

So, that’s what you can expect if you’re considering the prospect of professional help. See! Not so bad is it? It can be difficult to start that conversation with your friends and family since there’s often still these generational differences that shame or misunderstand mental health.

What’s important is that you’re willing to take these steps to challenge these thoughts and help yourself. It’s not easy, but we believe in you! 

When should you seek professional help?

Simple answer: whenever you’d like. There is absolutely no criteria to say when it’s okay or valid to seek professional help.

Perhaps you find it difficult to get out of bed because school feels too taxing or maybe you’re having issues with your friend group and you’re feeling isolated and alienated. Maybe there’s an exam coming up and the thought of answering those questions is so overwhelming that you can’t even open your textbook to start studying — these are all valid!

Really, any reason under the sun could be the reason you seek professional help — and that’s okay! If you’re putting in the effort to help yourself, that’s amazing. Here are the signs you should look out for:

#1: If these feelings are affecting your day to day life 

Ellie’s #1 tip for looking for signs to seek professional help is “that it’s stopping you from doing things that you either want to do or have to do. So, if it’s really affecting your schoolwork, relationships, friendships, work and things like that, then it would be wise to seek professional help.” 

So, ask yourself: are these feelings stopping me from doing the things I used to be able to do? Another way of putting it is, if I didn’t have these thoughts, would I be able to do this activity or take part in this event? 

If it seems like these emotions are doing more harm than good, have a chat to someone about it. 

#2: If the feelings are sustained 

“If you’re finding that it never goes away. If it’s there from the moment you wake up in the morning and you’re thinking about something for the whole day, then that’s probably a time to seek help,” Ellie explained. 

So, alongside their severity, if these feelings don’t go away or are taking up more brain space then they should, professional help may be useful. 

Ellie concluded, “So, it’s those two parts: if it’s stopping you from doing things that you really want to do and it’s an ongoing thing all day, and you just can’t manage it.” 

What if you don’t think you’re quite in need of professional help?

If you don’t think your stress and anxiety are quite harsh enough to seek professional help, perhaps a great place to start would be chatting with a school counsellor or close family member. This way you can assess your feelings with someone else — it may be a perfect place to start. Your main options might be:

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#1: School counsellors and wellbeing teachers

Ellie said, “I would probably say counsellors are number one,” when it comes to seeking help prior to professional psychologists, “because they can usually put you in touch with a wellbeing teacher or work things out with you.” 

This would be especially applicable if your anxiety and stress stems from an unmanageable workload or tough times at school. 

#2: A trusted friend or family member

Another option, if you’re comfortable, would be to tell a friend or family member how you’re feeling. This may be tough since there are still generational differences when it comes to mental health issues and when seeking help is the right next step. 

“So you could talk to a family member or friend. To just know that you’re not alone, maybe it’s not that you need professional help yet, but you just need someone to help you out and give you some pointers.” 

How to Start the Conversation

Like we said, talking to your parents about this stuff can be hard. Ellie told us that it’s most important to tell them that mental health issues come in all different shapes and sizes — there is no one way to struggle with anxiety.

“I would probably say, take your time to have that conversation. So, if it’s after dinner, or if you’re picking a common time to be able to talk to them. You could preface it with saying, ‘I just want to talk to you about something. I’ve just been struggling a little bit and so this might make me feel better.’

“It doesn’t have to be a huge deal. It might be that you see someone for two sessions and you’re on your way, or maybe you’ll need something a little more long term, but it’s really just to see you on the right track,” Ellie explained. 

#3: Getting the other parts of a healthy lifestyle in line

It’s a bit of a cliche in the counselling world but every now and again, there are issues (that are not quite in need of professional help) which can be solved by adjusting small parts of someone’s lifestyle.

Like, as Ellie explained, “Making sure you’re getting enough sleep and eating nutritious food and exercise — all that kind of boring stuff does make a big impact. So, they’re probably the things that I’d tick off first and if none of that shifts, then I would probably say professional help.” 

Learn about how mindfulness can reduce stress and anxiety here!

How KYDS Works

Since Ellie is a counsellor at KYDS she could tell us all about how the free mental health services work there. Oftentimes, the financial barriers will hinder someone (especially young people) from seeking help — this is why KYDS is such a great service. 

KYDS is a nonprofit so we are funded primarily by donors. We are fortunate enough not to require payment at the moment. You really just refer yourself or your parents or a teacher can refer you,” Ellie told us. 

Once you’ve been referred, “we do a quick intake of about 30 minutes to find out what’s going on, just double checking that you’re appropriate for us. But I’ve never said no to anyone. Then we put them on our waitlist and that’s pretty much it! We call them in and there’s no cost.” 

There you go! Ellie mentioned that sometimes a referral from your GP would be helpful as a point of consolidation to see where you’re at but it’s not necessary. Another option is to call KYDS and have a chat with them to figure out the best course of action without making any appointments or commitments! 

You can give KYDS a call on (02) 9416 0900!

Any last pieces of advice?

To finish up, we asked if Ellie had any pieces of advice for students and young people who may be struggling with the stress and anxiety of school and beyond. 

“I mean every adult says it and I never believed it when I was in Year 11 and 12, but it’s just a period of your life. It can matter as much as you want it to matter — it’s not that hard work doesn’t pay off, but if it is really hard, it doesn’t last forever.”

So, there you go! If there’s one point we think you should take away from this, it would be that if you feel as though your stress and anxiety is impacting your daily life, professional help would be a great next step. You got this! 

For more advice on dealing with stress and anxiety throughout high school, head to our article here!


Gemma Billington is a Content Writer at Art of Smart and an undergraduate student at the University of Technology Sydney. While studying Journalism and Social and Political Sciences, Gemma enjoys spending her time at the gym or reading about Britain’s medieval monarchy – ideally not at the same time. She currently creates and administers social media posts for Central News and writes for the student publication, The Comma. After completing her undergraduate degree, she hopes to study a Masters of Medieval History and is very excited about the prospect!

 

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